When I started on my journey of becoming not only a wife and mom, but adding on the layer of entrepreneurship, I led myself to believe that I wasn’t good enough. And that I didn’t have what it takes to do all of these things and do them well. Somehow, we set our sights on things in life and then once we attain them, we give ourselves a thousand reasons why we don’t deserve those very same things! But I’m here to tell you, with some hard work, you (and I) can overcome fear and self doubt.
I for one have self sabotaged my own self out of so many things. From developing relationships with people to showing up in the world as my true authentic self. All because I didn’t believe that I was worthy or good enough for the life I had always envisioned for myself.
Girl, have you ever been there? If you’re reading here, chances are there’s something deep inside of you that felt a strong connection to those words… fear and self doubt.
They are strong and powerful fighting words that we often curse over ourselves, most times not even by saying them but by our own destructive thoughts. Why is it that we care more about the feelings of the people around us and uplifting them, but we don’t put in the same effort and energy into uplifting ourselves?
This year during my time away from social media, I started to realize just how much I was sabotaging my own self. I chose to spend my time watching everyone else around me to live unapologetically while I questioned every little thought that came to mind. Whether it was a creative thought that could potentially excel my business or embracing my silly and awkward side around my family out of fear of being judged, I chose to continue living in my own mental prison.
So how can we break ourselves out of that mental prison and live a full life of mental freedom? Keep reading sis!
Break Up with the Old You to Overcome Fear and Self Doubt
One day my best friend who happens to also be my amazing Mom Empowerment Coach, Stacy Crawley, gave me the idea that I needed to break up with the old me. I mean, kick her so far out of my life that if I went looking for her I wouldn’t find her. At first it felt extreme and silly but I knew I wanted something to change. So I took her advice and that was the one thing that changed everything for me. I wrote a break up letter to myself and it was POWERFUL. Seeing the words I wrote to myself made me see just how bad I have treated the woman inside of me. The first few lines of my letter read:
“While I have thoroughly enjoyed being a joy to those around me, I can no longer sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of others.”
While I won’t share with you the entire letter, it was seeing the very raw and real words and emotions that I wrote about my own self that ignited change.
You’ve heard this one before and I’m going to say it again. GET THERAPY SIS! And yes, I’m screaming at you at the top of my lungs. There are so many traumas that become normal in our lives. These traumas become the way we not only see ourselves, but how we project the world around us. Most times, fear and self doubt stem from deep rooted trauma. My biggest advice is to find a therapist you trust and start making the steps to recover from what’s been holding you back.
Stop Looking at Others
Yes, this one is clear. Stop looking at what others are doing. While you’re spending valuable time watching others live their lives out loud, you continue to build a wall around those fears and doubts about yourself. You start comparing your life to there’s which essentially gives even more power to those fears. Put your blinders on and start living your life unapologetically.
Be Your Own Change
You know that quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world”? I encourage you to be the change you want to see in your own life. Don’t wait around for someone to come save you. You have to build up the courage to do the hard things that will rid your life of fear and doubt. The first step is believing that you can change. And then just do it sis! I challenge you to get out of your own head and take control over your thoughts. Make actionable steps that will lead to big change in your life.
Feeling Inspired? Check out these posts to help you feel motivated:
- 25 Powerful Quotes for Women to Live By
- Become Fearless // Tips to Go After Your Goals
- FINDING INNER PEACE IN A NOISY WORLD
Sis, life is hard enough as it is. Release the fear and self doubt that you’ve put on yourself and go live the life God wants you to have. While I’m still working through my own fears, I want to encourage you to live this life boldly together!
Until next time,